Hit the Clutch, Clootch...

You may ask yourself, why has it taken a quarter century for a young man from Kapuskasing - the KAP, for heaven's sake - to get his driver's license. We are sworn to secrecy. Our lips are sealed. We are not permitted to speculate on the impact of Tembec Pulp and Paper effluent on eye-hand coordination, or to cite certain long-suppressed documents from the Porcupine Health Centre.

No, our job here is simply to congratulate our Editor, the Clootch, on his successful completion of Ontario's demanding requirements for certification, and upon his new freedom to roam the roads of this fair province in slightly less than a ton of high speed metal and explosive fluid. Be warned.